someone sent this to me so i put it into that classic tumblr poetry layout cause I thought it deserved to be shared
Not Iambic….Do Not Accept…
These tags I’ll pop, and boast in rhyming verse
that what I wear puts swagger in my gait;
though twenty shillings have I in my purse,
my self-esteem and manhood both inflate
when lofty furs I purchase for a cent.
Thy grandpa’s clothes are worthy salvage, though
they smell a trifle musty. Still, I spent
much less to dress myself from head to toe.
To save or not to save? The question’s moot.
I’ll never give my coin to high-street crooks.
These dusty shelves will yield their hidden loot
to those, like me, more frugal in their looks.
Like ancient coins washed up on distant shores,
I’ll find my treasures in these thrifty stores.
- Macklemore, “Thrift Shoppe”
*Crying with laughter*
ITS IN IAMBIC PENTAMETER. SWEET JESUS THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE THING.
Okay, I know they’re just babies, but I used references on their designs!
aaaaand I couldn’t get it to go as fast as the original ahhh ;adgj;hsg
Edit: Well, uploading it here kind of messed up the pictures so here is the better version.
everybody wants morgan freeman to narrate their life but I want five sassy singing lady muses
I want Morgan Freeman to narrate most of it and the five sassy singing lady muses to step in and perform catchy yet narratively sound musical numbers when it gets too serious
^ sounds like a plan
^ Er Nurse
^ Funeral Director
^Works in management
^Mr & Mrs Claus
For all you tattoo bashers out there.
Tattoos don’t make the character. Learn people. Learn.
The previous generations really did a number on us when it comes to tattoos. They made us believe that tattoos are unprofessional and unsightly, when, really, tattoos and body art have existed through pretty much the entirety of human history. Tattoos, unless they are of an offensive nature, are not any more unprofessional than make-up, or jewelry, etc.
I remember one time I was asked by a friend who is a manager if she should hire a guy with tattoos. My first question to her was about how qualified the guy was for the position, and she explained he was very qualified.
Her: “If you went to a store to buy something, would it bother you if the person helping you had tattoos?”
Me: “As long as he does his job properly and helps me when I need it, he could be wearing a Halloween costume for all I care.”
bless this post.
Now if only there were a post about hair colors like pink and green and purple. Because it’s the same damn thing. I get more people smiling and complementing me with neon hair as a sales person than thos who shame me. Yet it’s hard to get hired with the hair in the first place.
I was playing Minecraft, and I decided to go north with no materials other than the items i already had in pockets. For two REAL days I have spent my time going nothing but north. I eventually reached an ocean and I jumped in and swam…and swam… I was running out of food and just as i was about to give up and drown myself, i stumbled upon the most amazing thing i have ever seen. An island of 1 block sticking out of the ocean with a red rose resting on top. Against all odds, that one rose grew on that one block. This has given me hope, and i must believe that against all odds, I too can live on. I must keep going.
that was the most inspiring thing i’ve ever read
Are you fucking kidding me.
I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.
..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.
“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”
I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away..
..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”."